His love.

"When then, eternal Father, did you create this

creature of yours?... You show me that you made

us for one reason only: in your lifht you saw

yourself compelled by the fire of your love to give

us being in spite of the evil we would commit

against you, eternal Father. It was fire, then,

that compelled you. Oh, unutterable love, even

though you saw all the evils your creatures

would commit against your infinite goodness,

you acted as if you did not see and set your

eye only on the beauty of your creature, with

whom you had fallen in love like one drunk and

crazy with love... You are the fire, nothing but

a fire of love, crazy over what you have made."

- The Prayers of Catherine of Siena

summer

Sorry I've been so out of touch this summer. I'm trying to find words at the moment to explain my past few months. However the words interesting, difficult, and a waiting process are the three that come to mind.

Interesting because I never have a clue as to what my day is going to look like. SOMETIMES I'll plan a lunch date in advance, but most of the time I'm waking up, looking around and asking myself what I am going to do today. So, instead of calling my summer boring, I'd like to say it's been interesting. Interesting because I'm living my days opposite of what I'd normally appreciate them to be. I'm learning to embrace these days, and I've become creative in the different ways to make my days less repetitive. Therefore, my days have been interesting.

Difficult because I have wondered all summer why in the world I am where I am. To be completely honest, I've been confused by the Lord's plans. My flesh has been pushing against the truth of the Lord's sovereignty and His faithfulness. My flesh has been pulling for life to be about me and what I want and what I think should happen. However, I've had the difficult task of swallowing my pride and grasping the hard love of the Father, in stating that He is in control and that He does have me exactly where He wants me. I trust that. I hope you trust where He has you as well.

Waiting process because I still have no job. I am currently in the process of looking for a job, however it has been a slow one. I have learned though, that the process is what the Lord loves to watch us go through. THAT is ultimately what He cares about. Through the process, we are strengthened in our faith and we are pulled away from our old selves more and more. If that is what it means to be in a waiting process, then so be it. I long for Him to have the glory from this process no matter where it is that I end up.

"Some trust in chariots, and some in horses,

but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

They collapse and fall,

but we rise and stand upright."

Psalm 20:7,8